The past week has been such a chaos.

And now I'm here Monday morning 01:01 thinking that what do I need.

Suddenly I realise that what I need is just 20 minutes.

Don't know how I became like this, don't know why to ask myself for this.

But somehow I am strong and getting stronger and stronger.

If I'm tired, give me 20 minutes;

If I'm sad, give me 20 minutes;

If I wanna cry, give me 20 minutes.....

No more, no less.

All I need is 20 minutes.

20 minutes, I can turn everything over, 20 minutes, I will get ready for whatever I need to.

Yeah, so please when I ask for 20 minutes, just give me 20 minutes.

　It's such a damn good film, that's the thing I heard most after I went out of the cinema. Surely it is, and Micheal Moore really has some guts there.
　　There is just so much there we are fully unaware of. The facts are just ugly, shocking and breath-taking.
　　The first thing I did after I came back to my room was to search for the World Countries Health Care Ranking and here it goes:
　　The World Health Organization's ranking
　　of the world's health systems.
　　Source: WHO World Health Report - See also Spreadsheet Details (731kb)
　　Rank Country
　　
　　1 France
　　2 Italy
　　3 San Marino
　　4 Andorra
　　5 Malta
　　6 Singapore
　　7 Spain
　　8 Oman
　　9 Austria
　　10 Japan
　　11 Norway
　　12 Portugal
　　13 Monaco
　　14 Greece
　　15 Iceland
　　16 Luxembourg
　　17 Netherlands
　　18 United Kingdom
　　19 Ireland
　　20 Switzerland
　　21 Belgium
　　22 Colombia
　　23 Sweden
　　24 Cyprus
　　25 Germany
　　26 Saudi Arabia
　　27 United Arab Emirates
　　28 Israel
　　29 Morocco
　　30 Canada
　　31 Finland
　　32 Australia
　　33 Chile
　　34 Denmark
　　35 Dominica
　　36 Costa Rica
　　37 United States of America
　　38 Slovenia
　　39 Cuba
　　40 Brunei
　　
　　And there it is, America just above Slovenia at the 37th. Well, well, well...
　　I'm going to remember the ranking deeply cause you know what? It's going to help me decide where I'm going in couple of years time.
　　A bad health system is a disaster to all the citizens no matter how rich you are. People are human beings and people get sick. Everyone has been ill before no matter how trivial the illness may be. But we all know and understand how terrible we could feel even when we just have cold or fever. Humans are very fragile at the time of sickness. We need care. And no matter how successful you may be today, if you are sick, you can lose everything easily in a snap of fingure.Then everything is gone, you have nothing but illness.
　　
　　You can never believe how helpless some people can be at some points of their lives. Being as part of the society means the care for each other. We all pay taxes as the benefits to everyone in the country as a whole. People do that because they want to feel they are being cared by somebody at the time needed. That's all it means. If that simple goal can't be achieved, why living in that fucking crap society?
　　
　　Frankly, I know that situation in China may be even worse. But that is the country I grew up, and I strongly believe in one statement, that is "The western countries had their time and opportunies to develop, now It's the time for us who wanting to improve, you can't really compare them at the same level." But America can surely be compared with other western countries, and it is doing shit.
　　
　　The American economy has been slowing down for a long time, its currency is going downhill faster and faster each day, I really see the day when 1RMB equals 1Dollar, I seriously do whereas I don't see 1RMB equals to 1Pound that soon. And the war in Irap is such a big big disaster. It seems to me that all the shining American dreams and the rocking time of Americans are gone, they are now nothing and yet they have nothing. Fuck Amrica..
　　
　　Another thing that worries me so much is the scandals about insurance. One of my most possible major career path might be in there, and I'm so put off by all the dirt in there. And again, through newspapers and periodicals, scandals are everywhere in professional areas, Accounting, Banking,Law, Estates, Pensions, Actuarials....Even doctors in the films, very rewarding and respectful career, has a lot of dirty things in it. And now I'm thinking, you are most likely to be happy being a middle class, no matter where you are in the world. Seriously, people are most likely to be happy leading a normal, average, simple life. Anything above a professional level, things get dirty in every single field.
　　
　　At this point of life, I'm really stuck here. I'm so scared, it seems like I can already foresee how difficult life can be, no because of financial problems but psychological and ethical problems I may face. It's about if you can sleep well at night baring in mind what you did in the daytime. And it made feel that I have already known that I will compromise at some point, and I will do things that not following my heart. That is so disappointing.
　　
　　Not peaceful in mind anymore at this perticular moment. So much going on my mind and again and again, the same question came long, what is the fucking meaning of life? We desire, we struggle, we fight, then we get what we want... But does it matter in what way? Because that's how life went by, because that's what really matters - How? It's not about how much you can get, it's about how you get it! IS IT?
　　
　　The world is so overwhelming, there is too much going on and we can't get the full taste of a tiny slide of it. Ultimately, what matters most is still ourselves, that's what I tell myself again and again. We watch these films, and we know what's going on at the corners of the world, we know about how misrable lives are for those people, we cry for them, and we forget and move on. And we learn how to protect ourselves better. At the end of the day, it is still yourself that you are concerning the most. That is bloody true fact.